Flash! Flash! New toy weekend – a Samsung Nexus S. So much fun. I haven’t come up for air in days. I’m like a scuba diver, scouring a sunken TNT filled ship. My wife, however, not so happy. She’s on the surface seriously considering abandonment or chucking something to ignite the dynamite.
My poor partner in domestic crime. I think I talked to her twice the whole weekend. Not cool. All I know is that I responded like a doped up jackass to some hazy questions I was incapable of understanding. I have no idea what I agreed to, but I have a funny feeling, I will be watching a lot of Animal Planet and shopping at Fabricland for the next few weeks or months or years.
On refection, I see the need for someone to develop a “Quality Time App,” an application that slaps you upside the head and knocks you back into reality. It works something like this. Not paying attention? Spouse or any family member sends a text message to a desired device – laptop, desktop or smart phone and because you’ve given loved one permission, two giant fingers pop out of the screen and attempt an eye jab. Ah, but you think you’re so smart because you’ve downloaded the “Three Stooges Block (TSB) App, but the Quality Time App (QT App) is smarter, drops one a finger and pokes you cleanly in the eye because it has seen those movies too. The “Q.T.” App is perfect for parents, students or anyone involved in serious relationships, including feline bonds or prison romances.
These smart phones are so addictive because the configuring never ends. I must have read fifty top ten app lists for the android, including a top ten list for top ten lists. But I guess that’s the point of addiction. It’s a continuous barrage of digital endorphins. Really, how many apps do you need? Another stock application? Is there yet another level? Do you really need to know how many calories in a double down? You can never get enough. There’s always a new app or device.
And don’t think games and devices aren’t structured that way. They need to keep you involved or you just might put it down and actually talk to someone or fix a leaky faucet (app for that?). They need to keep you active – always one more whatever. They are like cigarettes – “the first one is free.” The rush you can’t live without. Meanwhile, the tobacco companies just keep jacking up the nicotine or make it twice as potent (remember weed in the 70′s? You could smoke a garbage bag full of that stuff and still remember all the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody).
Don’t get me wrong. I love gadgets. My Nexus is a dream. The pictures are bright. The sound is clear and it’s great to have one device for all my needs – phone, Internet and storage. But best of all it’s an Android, so I’m not part of the evil Apple empire. However, we need to know when enough is enough. We shouldn’t need a Quality Time App.
And please remember, sometimes it’s nice to go for a walk on a crisp spring day without robo-cop telling me how far I’ve gone or encouraging me every kilometer.